So, he (finally) popped the question, and you haven’t been able to wipe the smile off your face, nor stop showing off that beautiful engagement ring he bought you.
But things can sometimes get stressful once you start getting into the nitty gritty of selecting your bridesmaids. I think secretly most non-engaged women have had the thought maybe once or twice for when the time came they got engaged, who they would ask to be by their side. Now that time has come for you, and you may possibly be filled with anxiety over who you want to choose and who is expecting to be chosen.
It comes down to numbers
Firstly, think about how many bridesmaids you ideally want to have. How big is your wedding guest list going to be? Is your wedding very traditional and formal or super relaxed and casual. If you were having a wedding with approximately 50-60 guests and were looking at having 6 bridesmaids it could possibly look a bit over kill.
Nearest & Dearest
Think about who is closest to you. Write down a wish list and cross check it with your fiance’s list (yes, it’s a good idea to let him have some input too). See if the numbers line up or if you need to start culling. This is where you need to think about your closest family members vs your besties. Remember that family will always be there in 10 and 20 years, friends (no matter how close at the time) do come and go out of our lives sometimes.
Now as you are finding out weddings need a lot of preparation and planning, and you need people you can trust to help take some of the weight off you and remind you that it’s a very fun and exciting time of your life. Your Maid/Matron of Honour needs to be someone you can rely on as she is usually the Brides right hand woman and her duties are to organise your Hens day/night (or lets be honest – weekend!). The Maid of Honour helps you with decision making leading up to the big day and ensures the little things on your wedding day morning are running on time. . she also needs to bring your Bridesmaids into line if need being. And these are just a couple!
Think about your needs and expectations, do you want them available every weekend? Is it going to reduce your anxiety knowing they are only a few minutes away or if they are in another city or state, will this impact on your planning. You also need to factor in what they have going on in their own life. Do they have a stressful job? Are they trying to have a baby or engaged themselves?
It’s Not Easy
Choosing your bridal party can be a total headache these days. My best friend recently had so much anxiety over selecting her bridesmaids from her large bunch of amazing friends & family, she was really nervous at putting a label on her friendships and though she had a close friendship with a lot of different girlfriends, there were just too many to choose from and she didn’t want to hurt anyone and make them feel lessor of a friend than another. As her hubby to be was having similar issues and to prevent it from getting way out of hand they decided to get married with no bridal party at all. Their nearest & dearest will still be a part of their pre-wedding planning & activities but with no formal titles and no favourites.
Your family & friends can definitely force some decisions onto you whether you like it or not, and who you choose can sometimes have repercussions. Hopefully at the end of the day your loved ones will understand your choices and be nothing but thrilled for this exciting time in your life.
So to help you make your fine selection of Bridesmaids, we leave you with some very wise words from the one and only Sarah Jessica Parker “Best friends are like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.”